Gasp !!!!

Like any North Indian wedding, mine lasted for 4 action packed days and nights ... It’s impossible for me to recount everything, but I will try to share some highlights...
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14:00 Hrs October 24th
Location - Jodhpur Airport-

I got off my flight, which I shared with the Girls from Chak De. They were in Jodhpur for a desert festival. As they entered the terminal building, I could hear a small cheer from the 10 odd fans that had come to receive them. And Just as I entered, the cheer turned into an uproar ... I looked around to see if SRK was amongst us too... But it turned out, it was for me!!!... In the crowd , I saw my sis and waved to her and then my dad , my mom , my cousin , another cousin ,3 more cousins , my 5 uncles , aunts ... all in all 18 people who dropped everything they were doing to come and receive me at the airport at 2 pm on a Wednesday !!! As I got into one of the cars, I waved at the Chak de girls who were Green with envy and hatred at my stealing their thunder... Stupid dumb chicks didn’t realize that in this North West Frontier town, my last name evokes more celebrity status than they can ever achieve no matter how sluttily they dress (which they were by the way)

15:00 Hrs October 24th
Location - Head Quarters (My chacha's House)

Details of the entire operations were laid out to me. My cousin G who is getting trained to be a doctor was in charge of logistics. My Uncle was in charge of Venue management and my aunt was handling Liaoning with the "other party"(Mrs. Prefects Family) .My dad was the overall commander and my mom was all too happy just to "take care" of me. I was ordered to cease all communications with Mrs. Prefect. A final dress rehearsal to check if everything fitted perfectly. Cameras were on charging and as soon as dad declared that all systems were go, the first bottle of whisky from the first case was opened. The subsequent days witnessed alcohol consumption which would have sufficed for an entire fleet of the British navy. Not to mention the food which must have taken a heavy toll on the goat population of the city and nearby villages (My family is hard core mutton eaters... Chicken is for sissies)

18:00 Hrs. October the 26th
Location - The hotel

Although I was informed that the sangeet would be a family and friends event, there were a good 150 odd people around. I was sure that the highlight of the event would be a dance performance by G,N,Mrs Prefect and Myself ... After all, G paid a ridiculously expensive choreographer to teach us the finer nuances of bollywood dancing ... However , once again , my dad was able to beat me flat... He along with my 5 uncles and their spouses danced on a parody of latest bollywood numbers in a performance I cant imagine of competing with ... trust me , I know every body thinks so , but My family rocks like no other ever can ...

22:00 Hrs October the 26th
Location - A remote corner of the Hotel
G asked me to get a couple of Bottles of Tequila on my way back from Japan. These bottles mysteriously reappear along with a plate full of lemon slices and salt. The target was a couple of friends of Mrs. Prefect who looked a lil too confident of their coolness... G apologized to them for not being able to arrange for shot glasses and persuaded them to drink shots directly from the bottle... Fukin losers never knew what hit them ... We had to literally load them back on a taxi

18:00 Hrs October the 27th
Location - In PSS's room
All my friends from ISB and REC Jaipur were playing cards ... Everybody else was either running around for some last minute work, or sleeping ...I was quite beat myself, so I decided to take a nap

19:00 Hrs October the 27th
Location - In my room
I am awaken by the loud noises of a band playing Kajra-re kajra-re...After a lil investigation, I find out that the baraat is all set to leave... They have even started to play the band and folks are already dancing... Only problem is that they forgot all about me!!!! There I am in the middle of a crowd dressed in all the pomp and splendor in my shorts and tee ... I am given 15 minutes to get ready which I do ... In the end , we still make it on time ...

02:00 Hours October the 28th
Location - Feras

Its 2 in the morning ... I am tired ... I am sleepy ... I have been sitting straight for 4 hours now ... My Back hurts , my feet hurt .. most of all, My jaw hurts from smiling for a million photos ... I want to go home and sleep ... Instead this seriously fat Pundit has been blabbering on and on for an hour now ... Turns out I am not the only one fed up of listening to this Vedic mantra crap ... One of my uncles has a lil chat with the Pundit and we are all done within the next 10 minutes ... Which brings us to the next stage of the wedding ... Crying ... Yes sir ... everybody cries.. the Girl , the girls mother, the girls entire family ... I was given strict instructions to keep my mouth shut the whole time and not to make fun of any of them no matter how loudly they wailed ...


04:00 Hrs October the 28th
Location - Home
Back home ... Only this time, my room has 6 huge ass suitcases... It’s been almost 3 weeks since ... and I am still unpacking them ... It’s finally hit me ... I am Married...