Last chance...

"Six pints of bitter," said Ford Prefect to the barman of the Horse and Groom. "And quickly please the world's about to end."
~ The Book
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The quote above from The Book might not make a lot of sense to those who haven’t read it ... But those who have would know exactly what I am talking about....

In exactly one month from now, Ill be married ... A lot of folks around me are kind of surprised that yours truly is still perfectly calm and composed without as much as a hint of panic or hysteria ... Another splendid example of how people underestimate my deep rooted internal coolness ... "Don’t have a clue" who now has the distinguished honor of being my
colleague mentioned yesterday that he made a list of all the things he wanted to before he got married ... And he claims he did all those things ... Given Trillians deadly left hook and her total commitment to use it as and when she sees necessary , I highly doubt his claims ... Still , I think its a good idea ...Even if I don’t do all these things ,Id still be left with a nice document to show ... In my profession, that’s most important ...

1. Have a pet dog - I love big dogs ... Not those puny lil fleece balls... As a child we used to have a pomerian ... It looked more like a rabbit than a dog ...We didn’t get along too well ... Partly because he didn’t like me riding him (Not his fault though, I was a pretty fat kid) ...One day, I got pissed off and beat the crap out of him ... When my parents saw their 3 year old son chasing the dog with a cricket bat, they knew time had come to chose one.... Luckily they chose me ... But that was then ... Ever since , I have always wanted to own a pet dog , but never could get one ... Now comes the sad part ... Mrs. Prefect cant stand being around a creature who licks his own butt ... So if I am to ever have a pet dog , its just this month .... Else Ill have to settle for a stupid gold fish in a bowl...

2. Go on a road trip - Ever since I bought my car , I have been planning a big drive ... Goa , Pune , lonawala , alibaugh ... anywhere ... I just want to drive at a 3 digit speed for more than 30 seconds without braking ... So far , I haven’t been able to do it ... In fact , the farthest I have driven is Vashi ... And let me tell you , that drive is anything but pleasurable ... Last one month to pack a chiller full of beer and head for the western Ghats in the rains ... Luckily the rain gods are still around despite it being the end of September ... Global Warming rocks ...And if some loony maniac decides to pick up a fight and race me on the expressway , it’ll be an added bonus ...

3. Fire a gun - Back in college , I joined the NCC only coz they said they would let us fire a .303 as part of the training ... After a month of parading around campus in those ugly khaki uniforms , the instructor said that he wasn’t able to arrange for a trip to the firing range , but he would complete the training any which ways by teaching us how to "Charge" ... An hour later ,all 50 of us were running around the football field with sticks in our hands yelling CHAAARRRGGGEEEE and firing at our make believe enemy with our make believe stick guns ... Fuckin asshole instructor never saw me again on the parade ground ... and as a punishment to them, I stole the NCC issued shoes and uniform which I gave away to the Hostel guard as payment towards cleaning my bike for a month ... Its a shame that the Indian constitution does not contain the provisions that the 2nd amendment has in the U.S making guns legal for all citizens of the nation... Which means, me firing a gun could land me in jail, thereby restricting the timeframe for this illegal activity within the coming month...

4.Smoke something "new" - Except for Alcohol, Tobacco & the occasional "stuff" , I have been able to keep myself totally "Substance abuse free" ... However , every time I see Pulp fiction , I wonder what it would be like ... Guess its my last chance , or Ill be left wondering for ever ...

5. Grow a goatee - Used to have one back in ISB... I quite liked it... But then had to take it off for placements and I never got around growing it back again ... Mrs. Prefect hates it ... She says it makes me look like a Talebani Pimp ... I don’t care ... As disgusting as I might look ,I shall grow it and take snaps of me in a contemplative mood scratching my goatee ... And before I shave it off for the wedding , I shall then print a poster size copy and hang it in my living room as a reminder of freedom of speech , thought and facial hair ...
There are some more things I would want to do before the big day, but I rather not post them here lest I get arrested or divorced or both...