The Psycho is inside my house ...He lives here...

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
~ The Book
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Drof left for Chennai yesterday... He has got himself a kick ass job there ... He realizes that moving to Chennai could have other grave implications like remaining celibate for life , but for the time being , he is more focused on his career .. Since I moved out of my parent’s place 10 years ago, I have had a lot of room/apptt mates... 16 to be precise ... But Drof was by far the most sane human being I have shared acco with ... He was clean ,sophisticated yet straight, and did not wander around the house naked ...All qualities sorely missing in some of my previous roomies...
God knows I have had weird roomies ... My roommate back in College was so paranoid ,he used to cover his soap in newspaper coz he was afraid that the squirrels on campus would eat it !!! He would sometimes run back from classes to the hostel just to make sure no one stole his underwear from the clothes line...
Then there was this guy in Pune who was afraid of rubber... Rubber bands, erasers, tire tubes ... He couldn’t touch any of them ...Can’t imagine how devastating this latex-phobia would be for his sex life...
Then there were Porn addicts, sleep walkers, fat bastards, Rajnikant fans, Shohaib Akhtar look alikes, guys in touch with their feminine side, guys perpetually in touch with themselves... etc etc ... Basically the point I am trying to make is that the universe is one giant nuthouse ... It is inhabited by folks who are so insanely crazy that their slightest contact will make you lose your marbles ...Unfortunately, I know most of them...
With Drof moving out and relocating to Chennai, my apartment no longer has any electronic stuff ...Which is not that bad ...Except that for the first time in my life, I don’t have access to a T.V ... I never realized how addicted I am to watching the tele until I found myself sitting on the couch and staring at the wall where the TV used to be ... So I decided to buy myself one ... Turns out ,I had underestimated the complexity involved in this rather straight forward looking purchase ... Like every other time I had to make a life altering decision , I turned to the wise and sagacious G for spiritual guidance and financial acumen ... Its not easy being a disciple of G ... every now and then he transgresses into the metaphysical and speaks in one liners of unbound depth and wisdom ... Most of these one liners happen to find their source in Hollywood Blockbuster Flicks , but that’s purely coincidental ..
After a long fact finding trip to Croma (An electronics mega store), I called up G and explained him the pros and cons of Flat screens, LCD's and Plasma's...
Me - I think I would be O.K with a normal Flat screen which is a lot cheaper and has decent picture quality...
G - "I can only show you the way ... You have to walk the path"... A LCD TV would last you many many moons...
Me - So you think I should go for a LCD instead... But that’s gonna cost me a Bomb...
G - "You are the choices you make"
Me - U mean buying a cheap TV would make me a Cheapo??? ... Can’t let that happen ... Ill buys a LCD then
G - Don’t ... Save money for the wedding
Me - OOOOKKKKK ... So what do you want me to buy u double minded psycho
G - "Be cool ... Internally" ... Very Heavy a normal TV is ... Might Break if you carry it to your apptt... (By this time, he claimed that the spirit of Yoda had entered him!!)
Me - What!!! What are the chances that I would break the TV while carrying it to my Apptt ... Have u ever heard of anyone breaking their TV you paranoid freak??
G - "If you decide to keep probability aside, it will hit you the most”...
Me - Hmmm ... You do have a point ... Let’s go buy a LCD then ... What time do you get off??
G - "Never Take those who are close to you for granted" ... Addicted to TV and Smoking you have become ... Bad for your health they are (Yoda is back)
Me - You know what, I have a flash headache ... Ill call you back if I don’t kill myself...
G - "May the force be with you”...

And that’s where I stand ... All alone, in my living room ... staring at my favorite patch of wall... I guess G is right...I could use the spare time doing something productive ... Or I could waste it blogging about my ex roomies and neurotic friends ...