Food Anybody ??

The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases.
For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question how can we eat? The second by the question why do we eat? And the third by the question where shall we have lunch?
~ The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
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Civilizations apart, it took me quite some time personally to figure out the answer to the first question ... As a child, whenever my dad caught me sprawled on the sofa watching TV for hours, he made it a point to remind me that I would have to earn my 4 meals once I was out of his house ... And that’s when I started to wonder about the first question...
After a lot of brainstorming, I realized that the only way for me was to - bust my ass in school, get into a decent college, find myself a job, slave for my masters, convince them that the life I have sacrificed is worth at least a fraction of what I earned for them, take whatever they throw at me and buy myself some grub ... So far the plan has worked out pretty well ... Question 1 solved

Question 2 was a complete no brainer ... Why do I eat?? Well I dunno about you, but I feel pretty sick getting drunk on an empty stomach...

Which brings me to the final and by far the most complicated question... Where shall we have lunch??
You know animals are pretty lucky that way ... A lizard never thinks for a moment if the disgusting bug it is about to eat clean or not ... Neither does she wonder if the mosquito has too much cholesterol ... But we humans have to make things difficult...
I don’t know at what point in time , some of us decided to go vegetarian ... Neanderthal Man ate meat as did early man ... and although lil data is available about the missing link , by the looks of it I am pretty sure the Yeti and Big foot are no grass eaters... Neways, I really respect the right of an individual to be vegetarian, as unnatural as it might be ... But what bothers me is the complications that these vegetarian folks infuse in any discussion on picking up a restaurant... And as if that aint irritating enough, some jackass absolutely has to ask "Do they serve Jain vegetarian?”... I don’t get why these freaks can’t munch on the lawn or potted plants while the rest of us eat a decent meal...
Over a period of time, through selective elimination, I have gotten rid of these irritating aberrations from my life ... So the people I hang out with now are all carnivorous by nature and perpetually drunk by behavior ... However this has still not provided the answer to the question - Where do we eat? And who do I blame for this - Globalization ... yes sir I do ... I absolutely fail to see any reason why a city in India should have Lebanese, Moroccan, Egyptian, Mexican and all the other Godforsaken restaurants ... The last thing I wanna hear when I am starving is two people fight about the type of cuisine they want to eat ... Let the bloody Mongols eat their stupid lamas ... I don’t care ... Just take me somewhere I can eat a carbon based life form which is dead and hot...
Of course there are some of us who don’t care about what is on the menu just as long as its there is a large quantity ... This weekend , I met up with the wise and sagacious GG ... He was kind enough to share with me his learning’s from 3 years of marriage. After I diligently noted down all the "best practices”, he said that none of it will work and that I shall from time to time find myself in deep shit no matter what ... That’s when we decided to drop by my ex Quadies place and invite A along ... Now my ex quadie SC is a dude ... a big dude ... a big big big dude ... Last time I asked, he was tipping the scales at a Quintal and a quarter!!!! And that’s when it happened ... Question number three in all its vicious ugliness stared us straight in our faces ... GG wanted to go someplace which would justify his current bachelor status , A wanted to eat something "light" , SC wanted to eat something "Heavy" , SC's wife GC and GG were Vegetarians, A and yours truly would only go to places that serve booze ... GG is a teetotaler and SC wont go anywhere Far , coz he gets hungry if he travels for more than 15 mins !!! After a lot of pointless bickering, we decided to stay indoors and order everything that everyone fancied ... an hour later, huge amounts of food arrived and 10 minutes after that, most of it was safely tucked away in SC's extremely spacious belly ... Problem solved...
Now don’t get me wrong ... I love food ... But I love my friends a lot more than my grub ... understandably, I get a lil irritated when they waste the already limited amount of time I have with them on naming restaurants only to say that’s not where they wanna go ... I also get very irritated when they say that they wanna eat something "different" and "interesting" ... Like it says in the book

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Fruit and berries on strange planets either make you live or make you die. Therefore the point at which to start toying with them is when you're going to die if you don't. That way you stay ahead. The secret to healthy hitchhiking is to eat junk food.
~The Book
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