Strength of a Woman ...

It was women’s day yesterday ... Didnt realize it till late evening when a very angry Mrs. Prefect called up and admonished me for not wishing her...C'mon ..I can barely remember my mothers B'day leave alone a made up fictitious day invented just to boost greeting card sales and create another opportunity to gift your girl more diamonds ... Is it just me or have you noticed a sudden surge in the number of diamond ads on T.V ... If I remember my geography correctly ,diamonds are created by flukes of nature and are thus extremely rare ... and here we have every channel showing a dude gifting a chick diamonds in the middle of the lake , in front of the house and even at the frikkin airport ... Whatever happened to "Welcome back honey ... here take these flowers and wash the dishes coz I cant eat in paper plates anymore "??
Neways ,thanks to Mrs. Prefect telling me about women’s day , I finally figured out why they were playing "Strength of a Women" by Shaggy all day long on FM... Agreed the song is a tribute to women , but somehow its not very convincing given that Shaggy also made videos like "Hey Sexy lady" , "Clothes Drop" and "Bombastic" ... Am not entirely sure if the depiction of women in these albums is exactly to the liking of Mahila Mukti Morcha types.. Not to mention that the artist’s name leaves little doubt regarding his general intentions in life ...
Now I am a man of the 21st century ... I am totally convinced about the importance of women and am also a firm believer that the fairer sex is fully capable of doing everything a man can do (I know what you are thinking .. Grow up will you ) ...
I mean anyone who can survive gooey yucky stuff oozing out of them and still come to work is surely a force to be reckoned with ... However , there is one thing I don’t get ... Women complain about having to bear so much pain all the time.. I accept that it probably hurts a lot during labour ... May be even more than getting kicked in the nuts... But then I have a strong feeling that women actually enjoy being in pain ... Now before all you chicks and uber feminists types guys (read Gays) decide to lynch me , lemme present my case ...

Exhibit 1 - High heeled Sandals.. The human body is a very well designed piece of machinery .. Specially the feet.. They are shaped so that they could evenly spread the weight of the body .. Also they help you take off quickly in case you are attacked by a predator like a partner who has a shitty assignment to staff ... However the invention of the heel takes both these advantages away and in return gives a lot of pain .. Both to the person wearing them , and also to unfortunate innocent souls like me who gets stepped on in elevators ...

Exhibit 2 - Threading ... I just dont get why women get their body hair plucked out ... Why cant they shave like men do ... Not that I love scraping my face with a blade to get rid of all excess hair and blood followed by splashing aftershave causing me to run around the room like a monkey on acid ...But that’s as S&M as I get early in the morning ... Just the thought of someone plucking on my moustache gives me Goosebumps ... Again totally avoidable unnecessary pain...

Exhibit 3 - Thongs... Please dont get me wrong ... I love thongs ...I think they look sexy ... but not in a million years would I ever consider wearing underwear that gives me a perpetual wedgie ... No wonder teenage chicks are so cranky ... If I had a piece of thread up my ass all day long , I too would walk around biting peoples heads... Now you know why they jump on any opportunity to wear a guys boxers ... Sorry if you lived under the misconception that they do it to look sexy for you ... they just like your underwear coz theirs sucks ...


For lack of space and time , I am only presenting Three exhibits ... But I believe that I have presented a compelling case that women like being tortured ...and in addition to this they got themselves a day which I could forget and then share some of the pain ...So heres to all you women out there ... Happy Women’s day ... Sorry its a day belated ... But I would forgive you if you forget to wish me on Mens day ...