High on Medication !!!

What sucks most about falling sick is not the fever or the splitting headache or the horrible food my Mom makes me eat ...Its the boredom ... Have been trapped inside 401 Primrose for 2 days now .. My only contact with the outside world being a TV and a mobile cellular telephone ... Given how all my friends happen to be extremely busy precisely the day when I have lots of free time to pass, I turned to my trusted ol friend Mr Television...
I found out that when we are away slogging our asses at the office, the Cathode Ray Tube entertainer becomes a whole different beast... Every alternate channel shows some variant of saas bahu serial... Personally I have nothing against Ekta Kapoor ... If millions of house wives in India are stupid enough to watch these dumbass soaps , why wouldn’t miss Kapoor make a fortune out of it ... BTW I saw her at the hard rock cafe the other night ... She looks quite creepy with that big tilak on her head ..
Neways , I am not too bothered by Soaps ... As long as I get my staple diet of Discovery, Animal Planet, National Geographic and The History Channel , Id be happy even if I’m marooned on an island ... or so I thought ... By some freakish coincidence, all these channels were showing documentaries on Crocodiles .. I already know everything there is to know about crocs ... I agree that they are awesome creatures and everything , but there a limit to how many times you can watch a Nile croc eat a zebras guts ... And as if that wasn’t gross enough , the ad breaks during afternoons are jam packed with feminine products ...Seriously , I must have heard the words "Suraksha" and "Dryness" a hundred times in one hour ...I know I am being a lil insensitive here , but hey , I am already sick .. I have shit loads of antibiotics in me and they aren’t reacting very well with the scotch I had last night ...The last thing I want to see is a bunch of chics inside a tent talking about “Freedom” … Hold on .. that I believe is aReliance telecom ad … Trillian , here some feedback for you … Ask them to make a new ad …
I strongly disapprove of these MNC's wasting all this money on ads when there is still so much R&D which can be done to make their product so much more efficient... Now I don’t claim to be a scientist or anything , but my engineering instincts cant help but suggest a few modifications to make life better for 50% of all humanity ... Think about the last time it rained during a one day match at Perth .. Just as all that water threatens to ruin a perfect day of cricket, what do the bring out ?? A super Soaker ... For the uninformed, a Super Soaker is basically a tractor on which is mounted a cylindrical drum made up of a super absorbent material and connected to an electric rotor pump... Now I haven’t finalized the designs to fit this apparatus to a female body , but off the top of my head , I am thinking of a cylindrical capillary network which shall maintain a low pressure though a miniature tullu pump (you know the type they have on desert coolers)... The whole thing can be powered by a 9 volt Lithium ion battery which can be charged by your standard Nokia charger ... Think of the immense possibilities man ... Now If I had the patience or the stomach to take this product to conclusion, I would have been a rich man ... but I don’t ... so feel free to take up this idea and work on it ...
I hope you all learnt something today ... Next time Ill tell you about the circuit breaker condoms I designed ... These battery powered aluminum foil condoms release a nasty charge when they rupture , thereby warning both parties of the impending aids/child danger ... Till that time take care and good bye from "Fords Fantastic Ideas for a Better Tomorrow"