Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Most of us think Friday the 13th sucks because this is the day Jason comes out and kills all those hot slutty chics making out in a barnyard , or the lake , or in the woods or in a car parked in some desolate stretch of highway ... Given my fondness for chics of this genere, I am quite pissed of Jason... Hes quite an asshole ... and I am also mad at him for giving a bad name to Friday the 13th ... But it turns out that Jason alone is not responsible for the disrepute of this day and date...
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On October 13, 1307, a day so infamous that Friday the 13th would become a synonym for ill fortune, officers of King Philip IV of France carried out mass arrests in a well-coordinated dawn raid that left several thousand Templars — knights, sergeants, priests, and serving brethren — in chains, charged with heresy, blasphemy, various obscenities, and homosexual practices. None of these charges was ever proven, even in France — and the Order was found innocent elsewhere — but in the seven years following the arrests, hundreds of Templars suffered excruciating tortures intended to force 'confessions,' and more than a hundred died under torture or were executed by burning at the stake.
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And so began the story of Friday the 13th.... Exactly 699 years later, October the 13th is a Friday again... For the truly paranoid, 666 is the devils number... Why the devil needs a number is beyond me ... A friend of mine's cars registration number is 666 and below it he has proudly proclaimed "The Devils Own"... Now I find this a lil hard to believe coz Mr. Devils Own happens to be a Vegetarian and a complete Teetotaler ... He more like The Sissy's Own...

Neways coming back to Friday the 13th , I have been researching heavily on how to cure oneself from the horrible horrible monstrosity that this day and date stands for ... The world wide web is full of them...

One recommendation is to climb to the top of a mountain or skyscraper and burn all the socks you own that have holes in them. I personally believe it is a malicious attempt by the sock companies to increase sales of socks ... Burn all socks with holes in them indeed ... and what do I wear to office then??? Next you know, they’ll ask us to wash them bloody socks every week ... Imagine everybody burning their old smelly socks on their rooftops on Friday the 13th... That’s what I would call a self fulfilling prophecy ...

Another cure is to stand on your head and eat a piece of gristle. I really cant comment on this cause I don’t know what a gristle is ... For all you know, it might be a type of Bhindi ... Id rather face the wrath of Satan and sell my soul to him than eat that green crap....

Some more common cures include -
Hang your shoes out of the window...
Walk around your house 13times on Friday the 13th
Sleep with a mirror under your pillow for the first 3 Fridays before Friday the 13th...
Walk around the block with your mouth full of water
Wear or eat Garlic....

As desperate as I am not to get into any more shit than I am in , none of these are solutions I can implement without losing my job , apartment or whatever left of my self esteem ... So I guess Ill just take my chances .. I mean bad things happen to me all the time anyways...

As a aside, during my research on Friday the 13th, I came across another interesting superstition. If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck. Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names... Guess how many letters my name has....

And before I close , its my B'day on Friday the 13th ... So before you decide to harrow me to throw a party , think again ... I think it would be safer if you just keep your distance and courier me the gifts... ;-)