Been a long time since I blogged … I would like to say that have been busy with placement preps , but that would be right on the thin line between a lie and a wishful fantasy… Things have been quite hectic though … Like everything else, the placement process at ISB is as posh and cutting edge as it can get…
Recruiters post their job descriptions on the placement website… You can look at the profiles , pick the ones you fancy and apply online … and all this from the comfort of your room …Of course that’s easier said than done …every applications consists of a resume (which I have finally drafted) and an Expression of Interest(EOI)… This EOI business is bugging a lot of people… Its quite difficult to express your interest without sounding needy… or highlighting your strengths without sounding pompous… Some people thought my previous post on getting a job of your dreams doesn’t qualify as a good deed… Someone actually said that there was nothing novel about it and they knew it all anyways … Desperate as I am to help my brethren in these difficult and trying times , I shall now share a one size fit all fool proof EOI … I know... Ur welcome...
Dear Mr. H.R. Bigshot
In response to your job posting for the role of associate sucker at DOWE CHEATEM & HOWE , I would like to propose my candidature.
My previous work experience of 4 years in the IT industry where I saw every molecule in my brain degenerate into that gooey green stuff that grows under the refrigerator , enabled me with some very valuable skills
Patience: of doing the same crap over and over and over and reporting to nincompoops who make you realize that Dodo’s aren’t extinct after all.
Quantitative skills: of mentally calculating the number of seconds to weekend at any given point of time ..
Team skills : haven’t had a single case of sexual harassment against me… Neither did any of my team mates ever attempt to kill me or cause bodily harm …well nothing too serious anyways…
At ISB , I was able to get a Holistic view of business in general and banking/consulting/finance/marketing/sales/shoveling shit(enter your target job here) in particular. I am a very active member of the clubs here… My favorites being TDS and B&C…
I believe these skills would help me excel in your organization and contribute to its growth. I am open to any location and wouldn’t mind the occasional trip to prison in case its my turn to take blame for any scandal your company gets embroiled in, However I do expect to be compensated for it above and beyond the CTC mentioned in your job posting.
I would be happy to provide any further information you might need to process your application and look forward to meeting you for an interview.
Regards
Ford Prefect.
12 comments:
that one is really freakin good!
something funny after a long time!
Dear Sir,
I recently found your blog, and has been laughing ever since.
Keep up the great work!
Regards,
Enakshi
cannot stop laughing at my office desk. Almost fell off my chair. Good luck with the placement interviews. I see that you have already sharpened your bull-shitting skills.
Chinmay
Chinmay : I hope motorola is kind towards its employees who fall off their chairs laughing hysterically.. As for my bull-shitting skills .. unfortunately they are not something you would like to mention on your resume ;-)
Enakshi: Thanks ..
Anonymous : I hope ull use it in your EOI ;-)
At least some people haven't lost their sense of humour.Good luck with placements.
aaawweeesaaame blawg saaar.
pet hate
Pet Hate!! ... well .. its a start ... Ive graduated from total useless loser ... may be someday Id lose the hate part...
dude..hilarious...ur quite gud at bullshittin...mktg major eh ??
best 4 ur placements ...in case tht hasnt happnd 4 u yet...n btw...bullshittin can b shwn as voulantary work in manure industry :)
whenz your next post gonna be released?
the audience is waiting with bated breath ..
Ford Prefect Lover.
Ford Prefect Lover !!!
Who/What are you ???
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