Theories...

Of late , I have discovered a hitherto unknown talent in me… Believe it or not, looks like I am an extremely good counselor… I know … makes no sense , but given the demand for my advise , I have a good mind of charging folks by the hour for all the crap I say … Careers , Education, marriage, girl trouble , guy trouble, business, family whatever the nature of your problem , Ford Prefect is your man to the rescue.
Of course most of my clients happen to be people I really care about (yes there are a few of them) so any chances of me profiting from this are nil. However all this does give me invaluable data for my theories which I have been formulating for some time now. You will have to wait for my book to be released for the full version , but I can give you guys a sneak preview.

Theory #1. –
Problem Statement- Why me?

Analysis- If I saved a penny every time someone said that to me , I might have had enough to buy me a decent breakfast (At ISB that’s quite a lot of money)
We all know that Grass is greener on the other side. However given a choice, not one of my subjects is willing to swap their lives for anyone else’s. That’s 6 billion choices I gave them and yet they all would rather keep their lives.

Theory – The references we make for comparing ourselves vary as a function of time. Aggregated over a long period ,the probability of tragedy striking you more frequently than your reference is statistically insignificant.
For my mathematically challenged friends – Stop whining you idiots … Your life sucks just as much as anybody else’s…


Theory #2.
Problem Statement – “If I don’t find someone “NOW” ,I am gonna die alone…”

Analysis- My good friend P had come up with the brilliant concept of the “Zone” years ago. Of course his intentions of using it unlike mine were anything but honorable.

Simply speaking , The Zone is a state of mental being. Anyone in the zone is vulnerable to make mistakes the kinds that flash before your eyes on your death bed.
One can get into the zone for a variety of reasons. Members of the fairer sex a lot more prone to falling prey to it.

Theory – When you feel like you desperately need to be with someone who could be anyone, it’s always better to lock your doors and stay in.
My book shall contain details of how to get out of the zone without having to change your name and moving to Argentina.

Theory #3.

Problem Statement – Life is so bizarre, I cant get a hold of it.

Analysis – The book has reference to a theory which addresses this problem to an extent
This theory states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
I have my reservations on this.

Statistically, the probability of any of us being here is so small that you'd think the mere fact of existing would keep us all in contented dazzlement of surprise.

Theory- The origin of all Bizarreness lies in our very existence. Any other event compared to this can be hardly termed bizarre. As long as you believe that the answer is 42, you will be in a position to cope with bizarreness of any nature.


Note: The author would like to thank all his subjects.
The theories stated above are personal views of the author who shall not be liable for any damages which might result from their implementation.