The Book says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. Of course here on this excuse of a planet , you don’t get all the ingredients to concoct a gargle blaster (It probably wont be the same without the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger)... That however did not stop me from having my brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. Only I didn’t have the Gargle Blaster .. I had something called a Funnel …Don’t be fooled by the innocent name .. The funnel is a devious camouflage designed to render its prey totally incapable by making his oratory, locomotive and reasoning skills useless…
Some folks here at ISB decided that life was good and things are going so well that its only appropriate to have a Party. Personally I don’t have a lot to celebrate … But I guess that’s all the more reason for me to drink…. Which in turn implies that I should go to the party … Hmm theres something seriously wrong with this logic … will try to figure it out some other time when I don’t have the 5th symphony being played in my head …
So I find myself in the middle of a bunch of folks whose happy expressions only make me wonder what’s wrong with me (oooo lets not go there..)… Neways I am having fun and sipping an alcoholic punch the ingredients of which were not revealed for reasons better left untold…. V is at the Bar, making a fortune from selling me all the punch..Hes a dude .. so when he suggested I have a funnel , I didn’t have any reason to doubt his intentions .. Of course this morning with all the banging and screeching in my head, the only images I saw were me strangling him and doing things with the funnel I cannot write about on a public domain …
The physics of the process is quite simple … The sucker (read ME) leans backward with a plastic funnel in his mouth … The bartenders , then pour everything they can lay their hands on .. in my case it was vodka , rum , beer , the mysterious punch and I suspect some sort of an industrial solvent … by the time they were done with me ,I had enough alcohol in my body to combust spontaneously …
I am an engineer by trade …. I like to think that my life is defined by logic and reason (another spectacular example of how screwed up my thinking is) …..So what was the logical thing to do … Normally it would have been to call an ambulance, rush to the ICU and have my entire digestive system flushed … but these were no ordinary circumstances …V was there cheering me up ….. he and his team of merry bartenders challenging me... ready for one more ???Not like me to walk away from a challenge (only this was an ambush)..
PS: I am now totally convinced that V is an incarnation of the snake in the Garden of Eden….
Well there I was, the alcohol was spread out, the crowd cheering me on and before I know it, my mouth is at the wrong end of the cone… again ….In goes the poison and this time it really hits the spot…. I got to see first hand that the world is round and spinning at the speed of 65000mph… Miss SB is looking at me with a look that says it all...of course I am in no condition to interpret it so I ask her … “That was pretty stupid what you did there” (She’s not the one to mince words u know) I know SB …not the first time I’ve made a fool of myself … Just be glad all my drinks are in me and not on you for a change ;-)…
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