All in a days work ...

Been a long time since I updated the blog….. Not that I have screaming fans waiting for my next release with baited breaths anyways…. Its not because I have developed a writers block. It’s tough to block stuff of this quality ;-).
The reason is that in spite of what the URL says, I have been a bit short of time. How short , well lets take yesterday.

12:00 AM – Midnight .. I am on my laptop trying to construct a model of a three way option deal between an oil exploration company, an off shore rig operator and an insurance company. Turns out that drilling out oil in the middle of the ocean is the easy part. The fun begins when u have to buy insurance. Seriously… Insurance …
Well I am doing quite all right. Its all under control. At this rate Id be done in an hour or so. Wrong .. I was at it till 4 in the morning.
04:00 AM -- Cursing MS Exel at the top of my voice----It’s a binary variable u #$%^&*…… Bill Gates u #$%&….. Take ur billions and %^&@ ! them up ur % #$.... Im sure all you patrons of Microsoft products must be sympathizing with me. Anyway after a lot of persuasion and some amount of threatening, the model ran and gave me values that had some semblance of sanity in them. Job well done … hmmm may be just Job Finally Done …
So time to call it a night ….. Sure….As soon as I finish a 90 page reading on corporate strategy …… “How Otis lifts made a corporate merger with a Chinese company work in the mid 80s???” Trust me that is not a question you want to ponder over at 4 in the morning especially when u know there’s a 25% grade for class participation. The class begins at 2:30 in the afternoon. May be I can read 35 pages now and the rest tomorrow before class….. Sounds like a plan…

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..........

9:30 AM---- "So u like my tie" I say ….
Yes its great.. matches with your Armani Pinstripes…… Said my Secretary… You know she said .. “every one here at Mc Kinsey is jealous coz u made Partner in just 2 years ….. I think its kindda sexy”…
--" It’s a lot of dedication and hard work honey … The guys at my previous company thought I was a waste of space …. All my peers at the B school said I would be lucky just to get a job … well Who’s laughing now …Haa… So how bout that coffee I pay you to get me every morning”…..
--Yes sir … and you have an appointment with the Oil exploration company in 15 mins …..
--Yes send them in when they get here … Ive made a model which will take care of all their insurance problems…..
--Really Sir ….
--Of course.. That’s why I get the big bucks and the company Porche and the Villa in south of France ……


Knock Knock …..HOUSEKEEPING…….What???? HOUSEKEEPING……
Shit I overslept again …. The housekeeping guy is here .. means must be 11:30 … Damn ……Missed Breakfast again….

11:30 AM – Well Its not that bad .. Lets see I still have 3 hours before class.. I have 35 pages to read … NO.. I kinda slept in the middle of the reading last nite .. lemme see how much I have done… 5 PAGES!!!! Im screwed….
The phone rings .. Its SDG…. “Dude did you hear you have to consider the closing plant option in the model too” … What !!!!! Now IM SCREWED…..
--No big deal he says …. Itll take another hour .. and remember to read the article on corporate mergers….
Theres an Article ???..
Of course .. and remember to read up last class notes for the Marketing class……
There’s a Marketing Class !!!
O.K this is no time to panic … So I skip Lunch, skip shower , Change the model , read up the article …. Would be a squeeze, but doable … I should be fine … Wrong.. I forgot about the stupid 70 page Otis case…..

2:35 PM – Corporate Strategy class… The prof is a chair professor at Warton. So... he asks the class ...what do you suggest Otis should have done to make the merger work…. Up goes an army of hands ….. The T.A has a tough time ticking against names of people who speak. One tick means 2 marks. I gotta do something… If only I had the vaguest of ideas as to what they were all talking about.
Sir I say. “What Otis should have done is create an atmosphere of trust. Invest in a long term relationship taking into consideration the partners short and long term objectives and leverage upon their inherent strengths to amalgamate a strategy providing maximum value to customers and shareholders”……
The class stares at me in bewilderment…. The prof gives me a ‘Ive been doing this for 20 years … I know what u are up to’ look….. The TA slowly but surely raises his hands and makes a tick on his sheet ….. SUCCESS………

4:30 PM --After 2 hours of corporate strategy , a 30 min much needed break … the whole class comes out to the balcony and somebody as usual starts talking about what they did in their last job… I used to participate in these discussions, but after about 2 of them , I found myself repeating . So now I just listen and nod along ….

5:00 PM – Marketing Class…. Professor Jagmohan Raju … The legend, The Guru, The God of marketing himself…. Most people would kill to attend one of his classes , but today there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to get out of it … He’s infamous for cold calling people….and I have turned up totally unprepared…
Llets start…. Writes a innocent looking quadratic equation…. turns right at me and says .. “so how do you think we could use this equation to predict peak sales of a product”
…..
Hmmmm I go …. Lets see …. It’s a quadratic equation …. We plug in the constant terms , solve the equation and get the peak time …..
YES ..Ive cracked it .. I look at the class .. The cold stares of bewilderment are back …. Whats wrong with them …
Son says the prof … We don’t have the constants…
Sure I say … I know that … lets see … U put all that stuff uve written over there in the equation , run a multiple regression , Plot the predicted values and find out the sales …… Cold stares again .. The prof does the “I know what ur up to smile”… TA just shakes his head. Doesn’t look like hes gonna tick this time…
Well who cares , Im not here for the marks….

7:00 Pm—Class over … Phew a rough day … I gotta go back , put on some music and have a drink or two …. May be more ….
I get back to my room .. am about to pour me drink when the phone rings … Its C …. “Arnt u coming to the markstrat group meeting” ….
Of course I am … In fact I am on my way …..
Markstrat is an interesting concept …It’s a virtual world where each team has to manage a brand and sell its products…. The competition is cut throat , Rivalry between the groups makes the Ambani feud look like a kindergarten fight…. Our group isn’t doing very well …. The products we’ve designed suck and we arnt very good at selling them either ….. The meeting begins…

08:00 PM—Me and SB are working on a new product. She keeps calling me a freak every now and then , but other than that she’s nice to me…
So I say , “lets name our product exactly like the other teams product. May be the customers will confuse our product with theirs and buy it …. This is one of the typical moments she chooses to call me a freak”. …..
After 2 bags of chips , 3 packets of cookies , 2 rounds of coffee , we’ve finally made all the decisions … time for the customary Hi-Fis.. “
Guys goes captain SS…. “I think weve cracked it this time .. The customers are gonna go crazy on our product… We are gonna wipe out the competition” .
I hear people heard sounds of a child crying from Captain SS’s room the next day when results were declared….

12:00 Am – Back in my room … Phew what a day …. I need some sleep …
Right after I finish preparing for tomorrow that is …..