Still Alive ....

Ford Prefect apologizes for his absence from Blogsphere ... Ford prefect also apologizes for India’s humiliating loss at the Champions trophy, Mumbai Traffic, the floods last year, Tsunami the year before, 6 day working weeks, Lousy pays, bad bosses, Mayawati, Khar subway... Infact while I’m at it, I might as well apologize for everything that didn’t work out in your life. Or worked out but could have been better, or was really good, but you didn’t appreciate it coz you are too fuckin stuck up to realize how good life has been to you and how lucky you really are ... Its all my bloody fault ...

Now that I have that huge load off my chest, Ill tell you why I haven’t been blogging...
As hard as it is to believe, I have been under insane pressure at work and beyond ... So much so that when I told G about my work hours last week, he said that "This violates the very principles of your basic existence”, which being an impossibility implies that I haven’t actually been working and am only hallucinating about being in office till 1 in the morning every night ... Given the amount of work left to do, I am beginning to believe this ...

Pressures apart, I am quite enjoying my job.... The best part about being a Consultant is that the profession absolves you from all responsibilities ... Of course we take a lot of you money, and hang around you office acting snobbish and tell you how much you suck in life, but that dents mean that we can be held responsible for anything we do or say ... The other day, I was going through a PPT, when I saw the mother of all disclaimers. It was quite long and exhaustive, but I do remember one line from it.
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"The information provided here is generic in nature. Although we have tried our best to ensure that it is accurate and up to date, we will not be responsible for its correctness. Please seek professional help if you want to action on it"
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Professional Help!!! ... I hope they mean a shrink by that, coz after reading a disclaimer like that, you’d have to be seriously fucked up in the head to implement what’s on that PPT. Neways, before you use you puny messed up non consultant brains to process the partial information provided here and come up with a half baked theory on how consultants are blood sucking leaches, lemme tell you that the PPT's we make are seriously awesome. They contain a lot of charts and graphs and are pleasingly colored. Not to mention the hilarious disclaimers we give totally free of cost ...