In the line of fire ....

I regularly have these moments of clarity... Moments when it all becomes absolutely clear... when solutions appear, answers are heard and life the universe and everything starts to make sense ... Unfortunately, these things invariably happen when I do not have access to a pen and paper or a laptop ... and so by the time the sun rises, I forget ... I swear to god I have had such beautiful ingenious ideas that I have no recollection of... Pieces of poetry, words of wisdom, mathematical breakthroughs, path breaking inventions ... all lost due to sobrierity ... damn ... Neways, last night was a bit different coz when I had one of my fits of genius ness, Trillian was on the phone with me ... and so as I blabbered my heart out, she made a diligent note to remind me of whatever I said ... This post is dedicated to her ... an awesome friend, and one of the most fun and loving persons I’ve ever met...
Now that you might be wondering what the big brainwave was all about , its about something a lot of us suck at ... reactions ... Guys and girls have different reactions to the same situation ... Against popular belief , men understand women completely .. It’s just that we don’t know what to do with that knowledge... And so each one of us comes up with our own reflex mechanism in face of that proverbial fury from a scorned woman...

Many people I know tend to use the shove it under the carpet strategy ... Trust you me , in spite of what those stupid shrinks tell you , its the most effective of all strategies ... Suppose you did something bad , your partner yells at you , throws stuff at you , calls you names ... what do you do ... you ask her what her day has been like , change the topic and pretend that the lat 15 minutes of your life never happened ... Of course its gonna be lodged in your and her subconscious for eternity , but hey .. That’s what subconscious’s are for... arnt they??

Then there’s the laugh about it strategy ... If ever you find yourself in a tight spot, start making jokes about it ... By the time you are done, the subject would be so trivialized that no one would care about it ...plus the other party would be so frustrated with your stupid jokes that they would forgive and forget just to shut you up ... Requires a lot of practice ... But once mastered, it can get you out of any shit irrespective of the depth...

The third and most stupid strategy is the fight it out strategy ... Some guys are so dumb that they actually believe that shell listen to logic and rationale in the middle of a psycho attack ... I have seen my share of psycho chic’s in life and believe me , one thing they don’t give a rats ass about is logic ... So next time you are on the phone trying to pacify your girlfriend after not calling her the whole day , don’t tell her how busy you have been ... tell he a knock knock joke ... Trust me it’ll work .. Or your money back...

And finally my favorite ... avoid all contact strategy ... Phone lines can get choked, cell batteries can die, flights cancelled, friends can require your urgent help for stuff you can t tell her about ... In short ... run ... run and don’t look back ... Eventually when the dust settles and sense prevails, you can come out of your mouse hole and face her like a man...

So in case you are the type of guy who has permanent mental and physical scars from all the abuse you get , think about the above ... and ladies , if you find yourself thinking regularly how he gets away with it every time , he might be suckering you with one of the above ...