Art, Monkeys and a busted Refrigerator

G and N are back from their vacation in Malasia ... N's first reaction when she entered the apptt was "I dont believe it!!!" ... She thought that in the 10 days they were gone , I would have burnt down most of the furniture , broken all her DVD's and drunk all the scotch ... G went a step further and asked me if I knew of any reasons for him to send the sheets on his bed to the drycleaners or the incinerator... I was only too glad to announce that the beds were completly hygenic, the furniture intact and all the scotch accounted for .. well almost ... Having gotten over their shock ,the happy couple went on to show me the mementos of their expedition into the far east ... In true N style, the girl got herself 8 bags, 4 shoes and some totally bling stuff .. which included a Gucci phone tag ..you know the rope types thingy which you attach to your handset... The damn piece of thread cost more than my mobile... Feeling a lil exhausted and disoriented from all the glitter and colour , I turned towards G... The dude opened his bag and handed me a bottle of 15 year old single malt ...With tears in my eyes , I thanked him for being the bestest friend ever ... He then asked me to unwrap a package around 4 feet high and 1 feet wide ... What came out was probably one of the most shocking and disturbing piece of art I have ever seen ... It was a wooden sculpture with a monkey and a man and another monkey entangled in positions which can at best be described as Unnatural ... G thought it was quite thought provoking ... and the fact that it was carved out of a single piece of wood was reason enough for him to pay an obscene amount of money for something which should have been confiscated at the airport... Well in all honesty , the sculpture was quite thought provoking and informative... I now know how the AIDS virus was transferred from chimpanzees to Human beings at the turn of this century ...Marvin, may be you should have a look at it...just in case its someone you know ;-)Despite my vehement protests and demand to get rid of that monstrosity, it proudly stands guard in their living room , beneath a spotlight lest you miss it and be deprived of a serious insight into what loniless can do to human beings ... I think the scuplture doesnt like me much either ... I can feel the hatered in the guys eyes ... and the monkeys arnt too friendly either ... at night , I can almost feel the threesome staring at me and making plans to eliminate their biggest critic... Well I am not gonna let a lil chinki and his sex slave monkeys scare me... But Im keeping the door of my bedroom closed just in case ...Talking about scaring the willies out of me , Trillian has been doing a damn good job of it ... The chics gotten all mature and wise...I think the source of her new found wisdom is the electric leak in her refrigitaror... Shes already been elotrocuted thrice this week... Her latest demand is that she be included in all descisions pertaining to my marriage and that she be given vetoing rights in the selection of the future Mrs Ford Prefect ... Dudette ...Quid Pro Quo... and for the last time .. stop saying "I told you so"...