Jobmathics

The Book mentions a highly advanced branch of mathematics called Bistromathics..
It says –
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bistromathics is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behavior of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that space was not an absolute but depended on the observer's movement in space, and that time was not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in time, so it is realized now that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer's movement in restaurants.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With my limited knowledge of advanced mathematics not to mention my disposition against all things academic , I never understood the mechanics of bistromathics… But recent events at ISB have finally made the whole concept crystal clear… In fact I felt compelled to do some research and come up with a whole new field of study ....I call it jobmathics..

Like Bistromathics , the foundations of jobmathics are based on the nonabsolutality of certain numbers …

The first non absolute number is the number of people who actually know what job they want … A subset of this is the number of people who have a decent enough reason for wanting the jobs they want…. The very fact that you know what you want and why , leaves you highly vulnerable to Murphys law thereby implying that its exactly what you wont get…Some people try to work around it by convincing themselves that the jobs they actually want are not at all the job they want ….People from IT backgrounds are known to do that very often… with great success might I add….

The second non absolute is the number of companies supposedly coming to campus. Please note that this is not to be confused with the number of companies that actually turn up. Historical data of the two numbers shows absolutely no correlation and any instance of a company listed on “The List” also being one that comes to campus is purely coincidental. Controlling for this noise factor and collating the data from the two leaves one with an exhaustive list of all private and public held enterprises in the entire economy… I plan to mug it up and use it later to impress girls at parties…

The third non absolute is the role and payscale offered by the companies. Luckily this number is slightly correlated with the paycheck you receive after your first month at work. However there have been instances of what you do at job being several standard deviations away from what you are promised on campus….

As you can imagine, jobmathics can get highly complicated and its reliance on non absoluteness renders every statistical technique totally useless…. A monte carlo simulation might be enforced provided someone figures out the inputs and their distribution …I believe Marvin is working on that front. Her expertise in Microsoft Excel and her ability to derive seemingly meaningful results out of completely useless data has never ceased to amaze me. I challenge anyone of you to look at the permanent housing indexes of districts in Assam and formulate a “Keynesian Cycle Injection” required to stimulate infrastructure development in the country.
But the biggest challenge in any analysis is determining what the hell your model is looking for ? … A job , a role , a fat paycheck , a career or may be even a life(Now we all know how complicated that can get) …